Reach For The Gin
Words & Music by Mike Sparks
(Recorded by Tom Lewis on Demand Performance)
Chorus:
Reach for the gin, the water's pouring in
Reach for the lifebelt it's sink or swim
Call for the coastguard I think its getting worse
The ocean to a sailorman is nothing but a curse!
I went to the boatshow, you really should have come
Walking round the sailing boats I thought I heard Drake's drum
The wind in the rigging, the calls of shantymen
I took out m' credit-card and bought one there and then.
I joined the loca yacht club, I got her safely moored
The Commodore he hailed me and asked to come aboard
He spoke of a regatta, whatever that might be
And he seemed to think I'd want to take my vessel out to sea.
I explained that going sailing wasn't anything I'd planned
I had no owner's manual nor a books of maps to hand
I didn't know port from starboard, I couldn't tell east from
west
He said: "With that much knowledge, you'll know much more than
the rest."
I hoisted up my sails and I headed out to sea
The people on the pierhead they were waving vigorously
And I was waving at them when I hit that fishing smack
And they were still there laughing when the lifeboat towed me
back.
I'll go no more a-sailing, of that you may be sure
I'll just stay here safely tied up by the clubhouse door
Waving to the others sailing out and sailing in
Sitting on my quarter-deck and knocking back the gin.
