If I Had a Boat
If I had a boat I'd go out on the ocean,
If I had a pony I'd ride him on my boat,
We could all together go out on the ocean,
Me upon my pony on my boat.
If I was Roy Rogers I'd sure enough be
Couldn't bring myself to marry no Dale,
There'd just be me and Trigger, riding through them movies,
We'd buy a boat and off to sea we'd sail.
The Mystery Masked Man he was smart - got himself a Tonto,
Tonto did the dirty work for free,
But Tonto he was smarter - one day said: "Kemo Sabe"
"Kiss my ass, I've bought a boat, I'm going off to sea."
If I was like lightning I wouldn't need no sneakers,
I'd come and go whenever I would please,
I'd scare 'em by the lifeboat, scare 'em by the shade tree,
But I would not scare my pony as we sailed out on the seas.
If I'd been Clint Eastwood, playin' Rowdy Yates on Rawhide,
I wouldn't be here singing this song.
I'd buy a pony, buy a boat, just like Dirty Harry,
I'd say: "Go ahead, make my day. I'm leavin' now, so long!"